Mascot Madness! by Andy Griffiths

Author:Andy Griffiths
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781741985429
Publisher: Pan Macmillan

32

Grunt vs Brainfright

‘Right, that does it!’ said Mr Grunt, curling his large hands into even larger fists and raising them up in front of his face. ‘I’m not going to stand here and have some crazy banana-brained egghead trample all over my reputation and tell me how to do my job. Put up or shut up, Brainfright!’

Jenny raised her hands to her mouth in horror. ‘No!’ she gasped.

Newton dived under his desk.

‘I think you’ll find that fighting in class is against the school rules,’ said David, holding up his handbook.

Mr Grunt snatched the book from David and threw it out the window. ‘I’ll fight WHO I like, WHEN I like, WHERE I like!’ he shouted.

‘Now, really!’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘I don’t want to fight you, Mr Grunt.’

‘Why not?’ said Mr Grunt, bouncing around on his toes, jabbing at Mr Brainfright’s banana head. ‘Are you yellow?’

‘Of course I’m yellow,’ said Mr Brainfright, ‘and proud of it! I’m a banana! You wouldn’t hit a piece of fruit, would you?’

‘You’re not a piece of fruit,’ said Mr Grunt. ‘You’re a fruitcake! That’s what you are!’ And Mr Grunt reached out and pulled Mr Brainfright’s head off.

Of course, when I say that he pulled Mr Brainfright’s head off, I don’t mean that he pulled Mr Brainfright’s actual head off—I mean that he pulled Mr Brainfright’s banana-suit head off.

Things happened fast after that.

Mr Brainfright grabbed for the head.

Mr Grunt held it up high in the air, out of Mr Brainfright’s reach.

Mr Brainfright jumped, and as he landed he accidentally bumped into Mr Grunt and knocked him sideways.

Mr Grunt dropped the banana head, but while he tried to regain his balance he stepped on it, slipped, and went skidding across the classroom . . . right out the window!

‘Oh dear,’ said Mr Brainfright, picking up his banana head and putting it back on. ‘I don’t think he’s going to be very happy about that.’

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